Unattainable Read online

  Unattainable

  By Jamie Schlosser

  Copyright © 2019 Jamie Schlosser

  All rights reserved.

  This novel is for your enjoyment only and may not be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted without permission from the author except for brief quotations in a book review. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

  This novel is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places, and events are a product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to locations or incidents are coincidental.

  Due to language and sexual content, this book is intended for readers 18 and older.

  Cover design: More Than Words Graphic Design

  Formatting: Champagne Book Design

  Proofreading: Deaton Author Services

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Epilogue

  Untrainable Excerpt

  Other books by Jamie Schlosser

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  To my Significant Otters—

  Thanks for making my reader group an otterly awesome place to be!

  HANGING BACK IN THE SHADOWS, I adjusted the front of my pants as I peeked around the corner and ogled the only girl I’d ever wanted.

  As I stared at her supple backside, I blinked, wondering if I was dreaming or hallucinating. Maybe I’d finally cracked. Maybe loneliness and longing had taken its toll on my mental state.

  It couldn’t be her.

  Couldn’t be.

  But it was.

  Even without getting a glimpse of her face, I knew it deep in my soul.

  I hadn’t seen Corrine Harper in almost two and a half years, but I’d recognize her anywhere, even if her back was turned.

  Her left hand was lifted toward her face, and I’d bet every cent I owned that she was biting her nails—a bad habit I’d always found adorable.

  Her petite five-foot-three frame dipped in at the slender waist I knew I could almost fit my hands around. She’d always been thin, and that hadn’t changed, but the way the black pencil skirt hugged her round ass was evidence of her maturity. Her hair was definitely different. Last time I had those shoulder-length locks in my hands, they were blue. Now they were the prettiest shade of lavender.

  Excitement and confusion warred within my body.

  Why was Corrie here, standing in the event room of the resort where filming was about to start for my reality show, Stranded with a Legend?

  She must be a contestant.

  When the answer came to me, happiness flooded my veins in a white-hot burst, sending warmth to my cheeks and tingles to my fingertips.

  The ice around my heart started to crack.

  A frigid layer I hadn’t even been aware of melted away, leaving a burning crater of unfulfilled need in its place, so deep and vast it actually hurt.

  Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

  Gasping, I clutched at my chest and loosened the neck of my tie as I tried to find air.

  This was what it felt like to come back to life. For years, I’d been breathing, yet drowning at the same time. Existing, but not really living. Playing a part.

  Pretending to be happy.

  Up until now, I hadn’t been thrilled about starring on my own TV show, but the thought of singing with Corrie again caused the dread I’d been feeling over this project to evaporate.

  Three weeks with her in recording studios and on private beaches?

  Hell yes.

  A chance to redeem myself from our last awkward encounter?

  For the love of God, please.

  Last time I checked, Corrie’s name hadn’t been on the cast list, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a last-minute replacement.

  Along with eleven other performers, she would be competing for the grand prize, which was a duet on my debut album with the country music label I’d signed with recently.

  A grin stretched over my face as long-lost memories flooded my mind. Memories I’d pushed back, because I didn’t think I deserved to relive the best moments of my life when I’d messed it up so badly.

  And for a glorious minute, I allowed myself to be transported back in time to a place when everything was simpler. I was back in Chicago, eighteen years old, standing next to Corrie in the Weston Academy of Fine Arts Senior Winter Showcase. She was smiling at me as we sang “Wild Horses” by The Rolling Stones.

  We’d been given the coveted duet in the concert, and all the hours we spent rehearsing in that auditorium had made my teenage hormones go wild.

  Late nights. Close proximity. A sizzling connection as our voices merged in perfect harmony.

  I could still smell the lilac scent emanating from her skin, feel the heat from the spotlights shining on us, and barely make out the silhouettes of my mom and dad in the audience.

  The pleasant memory faded there, though.

  Because less than a week later, while I was on the senior trip to Colorado, I’d gotten the devastating news that my parents had died in a freak accident—helicopter crash over the Appalachian Mountains. It was supposed to be their ‘almost empty nester’ vacation.

  Instead, it was a nightmare. One that I continued to live after they were gone.

  Drowning in grief, I left the academy—left Corrie and all my friends—and finished out my last semester of high school with prestigious private tutors at home. It was easy to afford the best teachers with the fortune my parents left behind, but all the money in the world couldn’t fill the empty void inside me.

  I often wondered how different my life might’ve been if I’d stuck it out at Weston. If I’d just sucked it up and endured the sympathetic glances from all my peers. If I hadn’t isolated myself.

  Maybe the one kiss Corrie and I shared would’ve turned into more.

  Maybe I could’ve leaned on her for support through one of the toughest times of my life.

  Maybe we’d be together today.

  But maybe didn’t change the fact that none of that had happened. That I’d fucked up. Would she even want to talk to me now?

  Of course she would. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have tried out for the show.

  Instead of going over and talking to her like a normal person, I continued to stare at the object of my affection.

  She gathered her purple hair and held it in place at the base of her skull. She fanned her delicate neck. Sweat glistened there, and I wondered what she’d taste like.

  As if she could sense my gaze, she started to turn my way, searching the room with her hazel eyes. I caught a sparkling glimpse of the pink diamond stud on the left side of her nose before I ducked behind the wall, my heart racing a mile a minute.

  What the hell was I doing? I wasn’
t supposed to be shaking in my shoes like an unseasoned performer. I was Aiden Legend, America’s ‘it’ man.

  The plan was for me to be out there, mingling with the contestants before the cameras turned on. I had a job to do.

  It wasn’t like me to be irresponsible. I always tried to do the right thing.

  And although the blood rushing to my lower half muddled my mind, I was pretty sure lurking in darkened hallways with an erection was crossing the line of inappropriate.

  “You ready for this?” My brother’s voice drew my attention down the hall. He strode toward me in a black suit almost identical to mine.

  “Corrie Harper is on the show,” I blurted in a whisper. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Confused, his eyebrows furrowed. “Am I supposed to know who that is?”

  I shook my head. “Sometimes I forget you and I didn’t go to the same high school.”

  Taking out a small tablet, Theo flicked his finger over the screen a few times. “I don’t see a Cory on the roster.” He poked his head through the doorway to get a view of the room. “Is it the dude in the gray suit?” Uh, oh. He was using his protective big-brother, do-I-need-to-kick-his-ass tone as his brown eyes swung back to me. “Are you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost.”

  “No. Corrie, like Corrine,” I responded quietly. “It’s the girl with the purple hair. And I ghosted her. For all I know she hates me.”

  “Oh, dude—awkward.” Theo grimaced. “Sorry about that. You want me to get rid of her? Just say the word and she’s gone.”

  “No!” I shouted, then lowered my voice. “No. You can’t ask a contestant to leave before we’ve even started.”

  “She’s not a contestant. She’s the music mixer.”

  “What?” My face screwed up. “No, she’s a singer. A really good one. She went to Weston with me. Students from there have a high success rate of going on to Broadway and Juilliard. There’s no way she’s just on the crew.”

  Glancing at the tablet, Theo shrugged and turned the screen my way. Sure enough, her name was there next to the sound crew with the title ‘Audio Engineer.’

  “Corrie doesn’t belong behind the scenes,” I insisted, baffled. “She was a scholarship student at the academy and there’s a reason for that. She can play piano, guitar, and drums. And her voice… it’s the best sound in the world.”

  “You really like this girl,” Theo observed, surprise tinging his tone.

  I nodded. “We were sort of together.”

  He frowned. “So why’d you end it with her?”

  And that’s where things got really awkward.

  “Uh… I never actually broke up with her.” I rubbed my temple as I thought about all Corrie’s unanswered pleas to pick up the phone, text back, anything. “I guess, technically, you could say she’s still my girlfriend.”

  Theo blinked. “What?”

  “When I say I ghosted her, I mean that in the deepest sense of the word.” I cringed at Theo’s horrified expression. “Yeah. I’ve got some major apologizing to do. What happened wasn’t her fault or anything. We’d just started dating when Mom and Dad passed away. After that, I just cut off contact with everyone. I wasn’t in the right emotional state at the time.”

  His expression softened, because he knew how rough that time period was for me.

  “I get it. You’ll make it right,” he said with a confidence I didn’t quite feel. Then, thankfully, he changed the subject. “So, got any last words before you tarnish your golden-boy reputation? Ross is practically salivating over all the crazy scenarios that could go down on the show.”

  I made a face. “I don’t like him. He’s smarmy. How long has he been an assistant producer?”

  “Almost twenty years. I’m not a fan of him either, but he’s the one we got stuck with. There’s a reason why he’s never gotten promoted to a higher position. The guy doesn’t have a filter.”

  “Well, I hate to break it to Ross, but I’m afraid he’s going to be sorely disappointed if he’s wanting drama from me. If there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s my ability to be the perfect gentleman. I’m practically a saint.”

  “I know.” My brother smiled. “But I have a feeling you might take a walk on the wild side sometime in the next few weeks.”

  “If you say so.”

  His grin faded. “Just remember—they’re always watching.”

  Nodding, I brushed off his warning as I tugged at my collar. “Why are they making us wear these hot-ass suits? It’s like a sauna here, even at night.”

  Theo wiped some perspiration from his forehead, obviously sharing my discomfort. “It’s only for tonight. Formal attire was a must for the first filming.”

  “This is like a damn play. I didn’t realize it was going to be so…” I paused, struggling to find the right descriptive words. Full of bullshit was the first response popping up, but I tactfully finished with, “Theatrical.”

  “This is just the way it goes.” He hiked a shoulder. “You’re the one who wanted to be a big reality star.”

  “I did not,” I shot back. “You know this is just a means to an end for me.”

  Unfazed by my uncharacteristic outburst, he chuckled at my defensiveness. “You want a career in country music? Gotta play their games to get it. This business is all about making connections and putting yourself out there.”

  He wasn’t telling me anything new.

  “That’s why I went on The Final Showdown,” I said, referring to the talent show that got me here.

  I had to sing my butt off to win first prize, which was a hundred grand, my own show, and a record deal.

  I didn’t need the money, but the exposure was priceless. Unfortunately, between the execs at Night Time Television and Rodeo Records, I was feeling like a puppet on a string, and the action hadn’t even started yet.

  “I have a good reason to be wary of reality television,” I grumbled.

  Theo’s mouth set into a grim line. “You’re not me. You’re better.”

  He always said that, but he was wrong. I might’ve been more of a rule-follower, but I wasn’t superior to him.

  Honestly, I owed everything to my brother.

  He was the reason our family got chosen to be on a reality show six years back, which was why I had a shoo-in with the entertainment industry in the first place. That, along with the fact that our parents were richer than sin and our father was one of the founders at NTT.

  Theo and I were just teenagers when three seasons of Living with a Legend made us a household name. I’d been a quiet bystander most of the time during filming, but Theo made it a hit with his volatile behavior. Drinking, fighting, getting in trouble with the law.

  It was the perfect recipe for success and disaster.

  He had his reasons for acting the way he did, and I reaped the benefits.

  “Living with a Legend almost destroyed you,” I commented quietly, already predicting what he was going to say next.

  “And Loving a Legend gave me my life back.”

  And there it was. His saving grace. The tabloids ripped him apart for years and all it took to revive his reputation with the fickle public was a new show he starred on last year.

  “Not to mention, this kickass job,” he went on, grinning. “I get to be producer and host. How fucking cool is that?”

  “You were born for this role. You earned it.”

  “Plus, if it wasn’t for all the shit I went through, I wouldn’t be with the girl of my dreams.” Waggling his eyebrows, Theo tilted his head toward the crowded room. “Seems like Stranded with a Legend could be the key to your future, too, and I’m not just talking about the music.”

  He was right.

  Seeing Corrie again reminded me of who I used to be, and it was like the misaligned pieces of my life suddenly clicked into place.

  The sense of wrongness I’d battled became right. The emptiness didn’t seem so hopeless anymore. A spark of true happiness lit inside of me.

  For some reason
, she and I had been put on this island at the same time, and I was finally at a place in my life where I could be good for her.

  Maybe fate wasn’t a complete asshole after all.

  Deciding I needed to man-up, I squared my shoulders, straightened my tie, and gave Theo a nod.

  Then I left my hiding place, stepping into the event room. A hush fell over the crowd as all eyes went to me.

  The carpets were a brightly colored coral with yellow and red geometrical designs. Large potted plants decorated each corner and entryway. On the far-left wall, there was a twenty-foot table covered with a spread of sandwiches, veggies, and a nacho buffet. At least a half a dozen cameras were mounted at various locations throughout the room. Spotlights were pointed at the performance area, and there was a judges’ table with three chairs in front of the small stage.

  When the show aired it would look like it was just the Rodeo Record execs, the twelve contestants, and me in this room.

  But the truth was, it was really crowded in here. Sound techs, strapped down with all kinds of equipment, were scattered about. Four cameramen were moving around. Caterers refilled the sandwich tray, and a bartender was standing behind the alcohol station next to the food.

  I scanned the room for Corrie, but she was nowhere to be found.

  Now that I wasn’t focusing on her amazing ass, I noticed the table she’d been standing at had a laptop, headphones, and other tech equipment.

  Music mixer. I wanted to scoff at the ridiculous notion.

  Not that she wasn’t good at it; she had to be to get this job. It was just hard for me to believe this was the best she could do. She was basically a glorified DJ.

  Just as fast as the silence fell, it ended when everyone began talking at once while flocking to me. The guy who made it to me first was the gray-suit dude.

  “Jordan Trent,” he introduced himself with a firm handshake and a wide grin.

  He got shoved out of the way by a blonde in a sparkly peach gown.

  “Twila Jamison,” she practically purred.

  A brunette in blue was next. “Dawn Hunter.”

  It went on like that, one after the other, and if I hadn’t already memorized their names beforehand, my head would’ve been spinning. In total, there were seven women and five men.